so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
