I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
