so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
