My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
