she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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