I looked at my own cervix.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
