I got chris browned last night
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
