Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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