2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He shit in the fireplace
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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