I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
