The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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