if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize