Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
