forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize
