That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
