I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
