So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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