you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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