I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
