Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
