Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
