I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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