she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
