Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
