new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
