He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
