Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize