I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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