i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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