I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
