well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
