This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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