I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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