He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
