In the future we'll all be gay
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize