come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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