I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
