sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize