I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
babies were throwing up all over the place
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Randomize