Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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