you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
