After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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