I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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