Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
