i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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