Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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