Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
