My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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