he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
