i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
