Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
