shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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