Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
