apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
