Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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