Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
