So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
