who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
