So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
