he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The beer is more important than you right now.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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