I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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